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P90X – I'm BRINGIN' it

May 30, 2009

Nine days ago, I embarked on a journey to which I will dedicate myself for the next 81 days.  It is an extreme program (or Xtreme), one that I hope will transform my body into a lean, mean, ass-whooping machine by mid-summer.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am BRINGIN’ IT with the freakishly enthusiastic Tony Horton and his collection of P90X workouts.  This is the P90X of infomerical fame (an infomercial that I haven’t yet seen, which is surprising given the fact that I am the proud owner of a box of orange and pink Sham-tastic German cloths).  This is the P90X that, supposedly, will melt away the squidgey parts of my post-baby body.   (Do I still get to call it that even though A is one year old?)  IT IS THE P90X THAT WILL GET ME INTO THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE!

And how, you may ask?  (I ask this question to those of you–all two or three of you–who have not yet seen or heard of this strangely motivating workout.)

Military-style push-ups from which I have yet to actually push myself up.  (I have performed some lovely face-plants into the carpet, however.)  A whole “plyometric” workout (that’s a workout focused on jumping, for those of you who don’t yet BRING IT) that has twice ended with me alternating my two favorite cursewords (hint hint, they rhyme with “bit” and “duck”) as I pretend to squat and hurl jump shots toward the television screen.  A “yoga” workout (in scare quotes since it is anything but centering and relaxing) that has “forced” me to flip the bird at Tony Horton (the helsman of the P90X workout DVDs) multiple times.

If you want more–if you want to get a glimpse at how I’m BRINGIN’ IT–you should check this out:

Yeah.  Badass.

In all seriousness, I’ve been amazed at how often I’ve needed to draw upon various comfort techniques I used during labor to get through some of these workouts.  For instance, Tony himself (I’ve cursed enough “in front of” him that I feel as if we can be on a first-name basis) continually draws upon the mantra that “You can do anything for 30 seconds” or “You can do anything for one minute.”  Just like contractions–you can get through them and work through them if you take them one at a time.

Moreover, Tony often encourages “me” to relax my face, neck, and shoulders during various exercises.  My guess is that doing so allows the P90X-er to focus her or his attention on the muscles and body parts that should be working and not to waste unnecessary energy on tensing up other body parts.  Just like during labor–your uterus can work much more effectively when you allow it to work by relaxing the rest of your body and not tensing up your face, your mouth, your arms, your legs, etc. and forcing all of your blood  to your extremeties.

In fact, the hypnobirthing program that I used–and many other childbirth education resources, for that matter–emphasizes the idea that labor itself is much like an intense workout and should be viewed as pain with a purpose, much like the unbearable burning I get in my legs when I’m doing double-time squat jumps with my crazy-eyed exercise doula, Tony Horton.

And while I will be the first to admit that I was not always “welcoming” my “surges” (I’m sure I muttered a few “bits” and “ducks” during my labor), there were moments where I took up the perspective of an athlete, one who could think to herself, “Hell YEAH, I’m kicking ASS” even as I simultaneously wondered whether I could really “do it” at all.  And there was something very powerful about transforming my perspective on childbirth such that I could be excited about the powerful work that my body was doing and in awe of its energy.

So just like childbirth, I need my “doula” (i.e. crazy-eyed Tony Horton and his bizarro humor) and my coping techniques (in this case, my affirmations and mantras and relaxation and cursewords) to get the results that I want.  And just like A’s birth–I’m BRINGIN’ IT(Okay, “in all seriousness” was a lie…)

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. jenny permalink
    May 31, 2009 9:27 am

    Sounds pretty intense! I’ll be interested in your results!! As on mentioned on FB my husband and I started Active on Wii yesterday and it kicked our behinds….we were definetely cursing our trainers! 🙂 Good luck!

  2. June 1, 2009 7:06 pm

    Wow – keep it up

  3. Kellie permalink
    June 5, 2009 9:27 am

    I actually did a pull-up the other day. Only one, but that’s one more than I’ve ever done in my entire life.

    Bring it!

    hahahaha,
    Kellie

  4. August 17, 2009 4:27 am

    Wow! Enjoy the journey! Doing a fitness training may be tough but if you need any help I would be glad to assist. Contact me if you need some motivation. Have fun!

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