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Birthing beautifully bad ideas

April 27, 2009

Although my blog is entitled “Birthing Beautiful Ideas,” I think that it is due time for me to pay homage to some of the beautifully bad ideas that I have encountered.  In fact, I’ve created a sort of “top 10” list of some of my favorite beautifully bad ideas–the ones that did and and still do make me laugh.

For your convenience, I’ve explicitly identified them all as bad ideas, just in case you (like me, or my family, or my friends, or even my students) were mistaken that the following were good ideas.


~~It’s a bad idea to leave a half-eaten Big Mac under your bed in hopes that it will be waiting for you when you get hungry.  Three months later.  (To her credit, this person was six at the time.)

~~It’s a bad idea to plagiarize, and it’s an even worse idea to plagiarize your own professor’s work.  (Narcissistic me was reading the essays and saying to myself, “Wow, this sounds really good!  Oh, wait…that’s because I wrote it.”)

~~It’s a bad idea to allow one’s child to wear a hair trend.  Rat tails and perms have come back to haunt many a child of the ’80s.

~~It’s a bad idea to allow oneself to be photographed sporting said hair trend.  Especially if one also has braces.  And is wearing paisley.  And neon.

~~It’s a bad idea to give into the kool-aidy goodness of Harry Buffalo punch without keeping in mind the Everclear evil inside.

~~It’s a bad idea to take a trip to Chipotle and to the Indian buffet all within the same day.  Heh heh.  (Live and learn.  Live and learn.)

~~It’s a bad idea to shove wedding cake so far up your new spouse’s nose that s/he is blowing chocolate speckled snot into his/her tissue for the next two weeks.

~~It’s a bad idea to sing “Baby Got Back” at karaoke night at the country/motorcyle bar in Springfield, OH.

~~It’s a bad idea not to shower after a massage therapist gives your scalp a rub down with massage oil.  Despite what the dim lighting and the massage-high tell you, your hair does not look sexy.  Unless, of course, you want to look your “Mickey Rourke best” by the end of the night.

~~It’s a bad idea to stay up until the wee hours blogging and puttering around on the internet when you should be resting up for a sweltering 90-degree day in which you must a) move the rest of the junk out of your house into a massive moving truck, b) clean up said house, and c) administer an exam in a tiny, windowless room.  (Who thought that this was a good idea…?)

5 Comments leave one →
  1. renbeth permalink
    April 27, 2009 6:48 am

    Why haven’t I seen the neon paisley pictures?!?

  2. BirthingBeautifulIdeas permalink*
    April 27, 2009 7:51 am

    No, not neon paisley. Paisley. AND neon. Which makes it worse, right?

    (Note how I’m avoiding your question.)

  3. Kellie permalink
    April 27, 2009 2:06 pm

    I believe I have been photographed standing next to someone wearing paisley and neon…with my own perm and TEAL PLAID STIRRUP PANTS. Hey, but at least we weren’t eating three-month-old Big Macs or spinach dip!

  4. Kinsey permalink
    May 1, 2009 11:49 am

    umm…i do not like your list. or kellie’s response. and as someone who *never* allowed my hair (let alone my bangs) to be permed, i feel as though neither of you have any right to judge. looking forward to living with you again:)

  5. BirthingBeautifulIdeas permalink*
    May 1, 2009 6:12 pm

    Kinsey, why did you identify yourself?! 🙂

    In any case, you should note that most of the offenses on this list were my own bad ideas and not your own. But I can always add a “Beautifully Bad Ideas List: Part Deux…”

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